ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
