It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
