I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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