did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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