I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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