I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
