GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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