Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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