I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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