normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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