ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
