Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
