Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize