Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We had to coat check the pizza.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
