Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize