have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
