it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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