I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
