Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
