Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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