Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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