Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
