you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think i have two assholes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
