I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
