so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
