I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
