I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
