I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
