i already hear my dad disowning me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
