what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
