i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize