none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize