watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
