Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
