Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
