every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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