physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
