I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize