I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
