a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
