Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why is there bacon in the couch?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
