Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
