Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
