I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
