sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
