Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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