Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
