i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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