My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize