I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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