false alarm. still invincible.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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