I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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