U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
