found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
