Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
