Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
