last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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