do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I would fuck him just for his dog
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