I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
