I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize