So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
my liver is dry heaving
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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