ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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